When you stand in front a mirror, what does it do?
Yes...It gives feedback about you. How does your face look? Is your hair rightly set? Does your dress match with your looks and decent, etc.
Have you ever observed and appreciated that the mirror just gives an unbiased feedback about you without any emotions attached? Does it get angry if your hair is messy? Does it laugh, if your dress is not matching with your jewellery? No. That is why we love standing in front of the mirror irrespective of how we are and how we feel. The mirror just does not judge or evaluate. It just gives you the feedback. Any change that you may want to do is completely your choice. If you do not want make any change, it is perfectly fine too.But just think for a moment what we do when we give feedback to others. We include our comments. We also add our emotions. We don't even stop here. We also tell them what they should do or should not do.
Why?
When we just give feedback, we show that we care. But when we add anything else to the feedback, we, in reality, are trying to change them or fix them. We try to force our idea on to them. We force our thoughts into them. We expect them take our solution. In short, we suffocate them.
That is the reason why people are generally averse to take feedback from anybody. They hate to listen to any feedback because they are not feedback. They are solutions / ideas / instructions / advises disguised in the form of feedback. Then we complain that people are not willing to take feedback.
People most certainly want feedback. Everyone always want to improve. Always want to become better and better. That is the reason they spend so much time in front of the mirror because the mirror just says "what is". No judgements. No evaluations. Completely unbiased. No intentions what so ever. However, what needs to be done, if at all need to be done, is completely left to the person's choice.
It is very hard to be like mirror, emotionless, expressionless, or without judgement. But if you really care that your feedback will do a world of good for the person, you need to be just like the mirror.
Next time when you attempt to give a feedback to someone, or someone is trying to give you a feedback, just observe what actually happens !!
